PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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