Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
