do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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