I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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