They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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