No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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