love makes seman taste better
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
