you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
