I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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