he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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