Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
