just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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