There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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