Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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