When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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