I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
