But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
