why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
