for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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