8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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