you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
