He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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