apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Randomize
