ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
