she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
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he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
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there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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