is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
