So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Vodka?
Forever.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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