The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
