Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
nutella sex= disaster
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
