no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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