I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
