im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she peed on how many people?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
