he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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