just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
