I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
