do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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