dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE