My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?