i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
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