Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
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he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
porn star boner night. come get it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
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This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped