I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2