I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
