the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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