you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
