okay pat passed out under dana's car
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
