That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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