small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
