my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
