so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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