my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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