Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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