Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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