I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
