I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
is it fun? or sober?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
