are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
