people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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