I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
