When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You are a genius and a whore.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
