Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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