just come out here and I will go home with you...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love