Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.