dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
