Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize