Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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