I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
As shirtless as possible
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
