I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize