I got chris browned last night
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
