I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
