When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
