So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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