did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I need to align my fucking chakras
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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